the ironest of mans

Huh.

I actually kinda want to see Iron Man 3 now.

Movies passing the Bechdel test?  Rather awesome.

Ye gods, I hate how low the bar is.  But I'll take what I can get.

in which I weep for humanity ( aka AUGH part two)

(Part 1)

Apparently a third military dude in the last two weeks who just-so-happened to be tasked with sexual assault prevention is facing charges.


I'm just going to quote Fannie, here, for summarizing a core issue so succinctly:

''War is, in principle and practice, the violation of boundaries, albeit for some purported greater good and even though the people waging it might be good people in many contexts. Having legitimated the practice of violence and boundary violating, it should not be a surprise that those who are trained in it sometimes fail to distinguish who is and is not deserving of having their boundaries violated."

Yeah.  There is that. 

old stuff: old friend

During a recent spring cleaning campaign, I stumbled upon a stash of bulky things I was hanging on only due to sentimentality.  I'm working on releasing my attachment to stuff, and so am cataloguing these memory-evoking but technically useless and non-decorative items and then releasing them on their way.  

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Aside from standard childhood shenanigans, I was an almost compulsively well-behaved kid.  The idea of committing a social faux pas would completely paralyze me in fear.  I had an incredibly deep-seated need to be liked, and would only step out of line when I felt extremely safe. 

This fearful polite behavior, as one might expect, would occasionally build up and be kind of stressful.  I'm guessing that's why I adopted a very silly habit. 

Rebecca: a strange child's alter-ego puppet

Meet Rebecca.  Rebecca is a raccoon hand puppet, and for years was my official Alter Ego (TM).  She was voiced by laughably transparent and squeaky ventriloquism, and liked getting into people's faces.  I would insist that people interact with her directly instead of talking to me. 

She made it a habit to be as annoying and obnoxious as possible, likely to contrast my own demeanor.  My mother once commented that 'irritating' was the puppet's middle name, a statement that I took literally.  Thereafter, she would endlessly introduce herself as Rebecca the Irritating Raccoon. 

She used to have a nose, but I remember shattering it by banging Rebecca's face onto the back of the home team dugout at a minor league game one summer.  I have no idea why the face banging.  Rebecca's ways were pretty mysterious. 

I have no clue as to the origin of the brownish stains on her left ear.  

A fair amount of the stuffing seems to be missing from her head.  

In short, this was one well-loved and consequently now extremely ratty hand puppet.  It's actually kind of disgusting at this point.   Rebecca was an important part of my childhood (bizarre though she was), but I don't need the physical falling-apart, stained, broken. slightly smelly puppet to remind me of that.  I have pictures!  See, up there at the top of this post!

So, Rebecca, it's time to set you free.  You don't need to sit around in a trunk in my garage just to remind me of a very silly aspect of my past. 

The trouble is that I'm not sure how to do that.  She's certainly not in good enough shape for any other child to want her.  I'd feel pretty weird putting an old friend, disgusting or no, in the garbage.  She's made of synthetic material, so probably wouldn't burn very well.  

So, readers... any ideas?

bento friday: using-stuff-up edition

Meal planning is a wonderful thing.  You make lists of exactly what your family is going to eat for every meal, coordinating with sales and coupons, and then shop for precisely what's on your list and no more.  Then at the end of the week, there's no waste and everyone's happy.

Does anyone actually manage to do that?  I'd be awfully impressed.  It sounds like a beautiful system, but seems to be marred by human fallibility.  I try sometimes, but inevitably wind up simply buying whatever looks tasty at the market and then having to spontaneously generate meal ideas from what's sitting around.  And something gets forgotten, and then suddenly there's a disturbingly moldy cucumber languishing in the bottom of the crisper.

On the plus side, bento is a singularly spectacular mechanism for dealing with forgotten bits and pieces.  Go some random still-food-but-just-barely lunchmeat?  Chop and add to fried rice*.  Sad greens?  Enough sesame oil covers a multitude of sins.  Borderline slimy mushrooms?  Delicious in everything.

Consider this yellow squash.  After being out of town for a week, I looked through the fridge and realized that while we'd tried to use up perishables before vacating, there was one lonely and slightly shriveled squash in the drawer.  Poor thing.

sad squash gets new life

I summarily chopped it up and sautéed it, along with some fresh broccoli, in chili sesame oil and plenty of Sriracha**, and paired it with rice with some frozen leftover ham and some green onions.  It was downright delicious, if a bit spicier than I'd expected.  But then, one of the beauties of trying different combinations all the time and making up recipes as I go is that we get to experience a big range of flavors in manageable lunch-sized portions.  Experimenting with dinners often results in tubs of leftovers that then must be eaten whether you liked the dish or not.  But a lunch? Even if it's sub-par, so what?  It's just a lunch.  I overcooked the broccoli a little in this one, so it was kinda limp and greyish.  Oops.  Lesson learned, with pretty minimal harm done.

Anyway, the point of this is that bento is a great way to use up random otherwise-perplexing small amounts of just about anything.






* Heating properly to make it bento-safe, of course. 

** Have I mentioned lately that Sriracha is amazing?  Sriracha is amazing. 

AUGH

[Content note for sexual assault, and rampant use of all-caps internet-yelling]

Last night on my drive home from work, NPR ran a story about sexual assault 'scandals' in the military.  Apparently in addition to the recent sexual assault prevention Air Force officer being arrested for (wait for it) sexual assault, a Fort Hood Army officer in charge of sexual assault prevention and victim counseling is now under investigation for (surprise surprise) sexual assault.

Man, that's a lot of sexual assault in one sentence. 

So.  I'm not even going to address the main story, other than to comment on how I am amazed that anyone can talk about this topic without screaming.  

THE VERY PEOPLE WE'RE TASKING WITH PREVENTING ASSAULT ARE COMMITTING THAT EXACT KIND OF ASSAULT, OFTEN AGAINST THE VICTIMS THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING.  

If there's a better exhibit of why this is a cultural problem that can't be fixed by little sound bytes and lip service, I don't know of it.  Anyway, my hat's off to Melissa Block for somehow managing to conduct this interview without exploding.  

What I want to talk about is this.  The interview addressed the sexual assault prevention training that the military is running, and ran a clip from a bystander-intervention-encouraging video.  Now, I'm all about pointing out to dudes that THEM PERSONALLY not raping anyone at the moment is not enough.  This is not an individual problem that would be fixed if only we could weed out those few 'bad apples.'  This is a systemic, cultural problem, and the predators are depending on the other dudes' silence in order to get away with (and get implicit approval for) their heinous actions.  YOUR SILENCE MATTERS.  Speak up!  Don't let people get away with this shit!  So let's see what the fancy sexual assault prevention campaign has come up with to convey that women are people and you should speak up because predators will interpret your silence as encouragement (and yes, people of all genders are victimized at times, but this piece seems to be pretty heteronormative so that's presumably the most relevant message at the moment.  One step at a time, I guess, as much as I hate that these steps are even necessary)!

Here's the transcript (emphasis mine, and I've changed the names from 'unidentified man' to something more appropriate):

Dudebro #1: Check out Chris. He's making a fool of himself. 

Dudebro #2: Dude, that girl's trying to leave and he keeps grabbing her. Man, that's all we need is to get put on lockdown again. 

Dudebro #1: Yeah.

AUGH.   

No!  That's not... I just... I hate everything.

CLEARLY the ONLY POSSIBLE reason to want to prevent BODILY ASSAULT is because it might inconvenience YOU.  Not, like, because you'd be PREVENTING A CRIME.  Because gosh darn it, those pesky people might punish the person COMMITTING A CRIME, and that might be annoying.  Consequences are so tiresome.

Or perhaps more realistically, the people making this video thought that would be the only reason that would be accessible to, and resonate with, the young military dudes at whom the training is targeted.  They're seriously saying that young men are so incredibly devoid of humanity and empathy that they're unable to see horrific victimization as horrific, and so it must be filtered through a little prism that casts it into terms their widdle bwains can comprehend.  Namely, that the fallout might be inconvenient and might get onto them a little.  Because someone somewhere DOES give a shit about the victim and the crime, presumably.  That person (whom I guess we must presume to be female) might even see the victim as an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING.  But that would be WAY too much to ask of your poor little military dudes.

What.  The.  Fuck.

To all you male and male-identified people, why are you not screaming about this?  That is some of the most fucking insulting shit I've seen in a while.  Presuming that you are literally incapable of caring about another person, so the only (or perhaps best) reason for speaking up against blatant predation is because it might be mildly inconvenient?  Now THIS is actual real-life misandry.  And this feminist, for one, is pissed as hell about it.  Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, patriarchy.

today in marriage equality: Minnesota

Minnesota is joining the chorus of states passing legislation to allow same-sex marriage.

Woo! This marks a push from coastal states inland to the midwest, a most encouraging direction.

From the link:

[Critics of the measure said that] other states were not likely to follow Minnesota’s lead in a sudden wave of legislative changes.

I wouldn't bet on that, guys.  Ever hear of the phrase 'critical mass' when applied to social movements?  Maybe they won't be specifically following Minnesota, but every bit helps, and it's downright silly to pretend that another state putting its weight behind the movement is somehow irrelevant.  

It's damn relevant.  Congratulations, Minnesota.  

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Edited to add: fighting vehemently against a piece of legislation and then suddenly trying to trivialize its significance by claiming that it won't matter anyway, in addition to being a pretty transparent way to not admit defeat, also ignores and invisibles the difference the bill does make.  I guarantee that the people pushing and publicizing and supporting the measure were not doing it solely so that suddenly other states would do it too as though it doesn't matter until absolutely everyone is on board.  I strongly suspect that a big part of their motivation was the Actual Real Live Minnesotans who will now be able to marry their beloveds.  These people exist, and their lives are significantly impacted for the better by this, and it's pretty insulting to pretend otherwise or to minimize this effect. 

Anyway, the point is: we see what you did there.  

Also, YAY for all the Minnesotans who can feel that much more accepted into their societies.  This inclusion thing is awesome. 

old stuff: graduation swag

Recently, Husband and I undertook a spring cleaning campaign.  Which is to say that we beat back the piles of stuff that were taking over the garage, and can now actually navigate through the space without leaping over boxes and open car doors without smacking into Stuff Mountain.

As I side note, can I talk about how amazing it is to be able to actually park in one's garage?  I've had garages before, but they were always storage spaces, and having them be car-spaces is incredible.  Three words: no ice scraping.

But anyway, in this process I came across some old crap I was keeping around for purely nostalgic reasons.  Now, nostalgia is good, and memories are good.  But do I really need a box of stuff I never look at just to commemorate something?  Not really.  A picture will evoke the same memory, really.  So hey, look!  Pictures!

I'm going to go through a few of the unnecessary and purely nostalgic mementos that I came across and will be disposing of in one way or another in order to make space.

glue and glitter for grown-ups!

Exhibit A: my graduation caps.  I graduated twice with my two different undergraduate degrees, so I got to wear two outfits.  And being me, I decorated the hell outta those hats.  The super glittery one was from a math degree, and the black circles were supposed to represent the symbol for 'therefore.'  Get it, anyone?  Like when you prove stuff?  Therefore graduating?  Therefore?  Anyone?

*crickets*

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best execution.  And I'm a nerd.  But I was the only one there rocking a glitter-tastic hat edged in six-inch purple fringe, bitches.  Oh yeah.

pretty flippin' fabulous, if you ask me

The other, flora-ridden one signified my environmental science degree.  A friend and I totally had matching tacky-silk-flower hats, too.  ALL THE TACKINESS!  Ha.

Anyway, these things are just taking up space at this point.  So I'll keep my tassles and honors cords (maybe repurpose those as curtain ties someday?  I dunno.), but do, um, something with the hats.  Maybe find a kid who likes dress-up and would groove on silly graduation hats?

I had a point!  Right.  The point is that storing bulky sentimental items is silly; you never get around to looking at them anyway, and have to deal with awkward stuff storage.  However, we humans do have a pesky tendency to get attached to our clutter, and this problem is only exacerbated when the item has a special personal-history significance.  That super-ugly throw blanket your Aunt Edna gave you for your wedding, the ratty picture your kid drew twenty years ago, the angsty journals full of teenage poetry.  And in the case of Aunt Edna, you get guilt on top of the sentimentality; what if she somehow KNEW that you got rid of a gift?  You are therefore obligated to keep forever any thing and anyone else decides should be in your house.

Bullshit.  I decide what goes in my house.  And stuff can never replace people and memories.  You swill always have the memories, with or without the stuff.

And these hats?  I enjoyed the heck outta them, but I'm not going to need them again.  I'll set them free.

It feels pretty damn good, really.

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Edit: holy crap, this is my 100th post.  Go, me!  And you, for reading!

today in marriage equality

Yesterday Delaware added its mass (however small that literal measure might be) to the marriage equality momentum going on.  It became the 11th U.S. state to accept same-sex marriage yesterday.  Go Delaware for joining the 21st century!

During three hours of emotional debate before the vote Tuesday, State Senator Karen Peterson, a Democrat, said she had lived with a female partner for 24 years, and she challenged opponents of extending marriage to gay couples. “If my happiness somehow demeans or diminishes your marriage, then you need to work on your marriage,” she said, eliciting cheers and laughter.

Yup.   Marriage should not be this magical members-only club that only Super Special Privileged People get to partake in.  My marriage is in no way diminished by allowing other people to declare their love for each other.  Seems to me that it's enhanced by that.

back in the saddle, and some fabulous

This space hasn't updated for a while due to a pesky lineup of out of town trips.  But, I'm back!  And to celebrate, you should totally watch this awesome fabulous thing of the day: a public service announcement from George Takei on marriage equality.

bento friday: favorite recipe roundup

This week has been kind of hectic, and I've been sick, so unfortunately I have no bento to share with you.  But!  Instead, I've put together a roundup of some of my favorite bento recipes that I use so so often, in photo essay form.  NOTE: all pictures in this post are taken from justbento.com or justhungry.com, specifically from the recipes linked.  They are used here with permission from Maki.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Maki?  Maki is my hero.  My bento-hero, at least.

One of my favorite quick and delicious bento side dishes is carrot kinpira.  So yum.  

And hey!  Look!  You can make kinpira from other stuff too!  Rock on.

Maki's chicken teriyaki recipe taught me that teriyaki sauce is super easy to make, that it's very tasty, and that it's silly to buy pre-made teriyaki sauce in a bottle.  Apparently Japanese folks think that stuff sold in stores is kind of bizarre.  

Soboro is another super tasty recipe, though it does require prep.  It's not something you throw together on a weekday morning; rather, I'll spend some time on an occasional weekend making a big batch (usually from lamb), and then freeze small portions to use later as filling in onigiri.  

Bored of teriyaki?  Lemon chicken nuggets are a tasty alternative.

Tamagoyaki is a now-and-forever staple of my bento-making.  There's a bit of a learning curve to its construction, but once you've messed up a few it'll work out fine.  Super tasty, good reheated or at room temp, veggie-friendly, and Husband loves it.  Win. 

And finally, Maki's spicy lentil snacks get fantastic reviews and are apparently super tasty, but I still haven't gotten around to making the dang things.  I even bought red lentils months ago, and yet.  So I'm putting this one on here to remind me to make the darn things, and then I can tell you how it went!

Happy bentoing!